Tag Archives: Kara Goucher

If Pro-Runners were Pokemon…

9 Feb

First of all, if you aren’t a nerd/geek and you get sex on the reg, you probably won’t like this post. And I don’t blame you. You can just leave now and come back Friday for an interview with one of the Milrose Mile runners!

But if you have no shame, like yours truly, and at the age of 20 or higher (hopefully not too much higher) you still think Pokemon is the shit, well then indulge in some nostalgic dorkiness below.  You probably won’t get a lot of these jokes without a decent/basic knowledge of Pokemans.

The premise is simple: If some of the most famous runners/running coaches/fans were Pokemon, what Pokemon would they be?

Alan Webb- Slowpoke

1:59.43.

No further explanation needed for this one.

 

Steve Prefontaine- Pikachu

Who makes these freaking pictures..

A super overhyped Pokemon/the most recognizable Pokemon name by non Pokemon fans.  Why overhyped? Well he’s not a bad Pokemon but if I wouldn’t choose him for my Elite Four team.

 

Will Leer- Alakazam

THE STACHE

 

Derek Rubis- Ditto

Face in Hole totally stole their ideas from Ditto!

 

Silas Kiplagat- Mudkip

Silas Mudkiplagat

 

OTC- Team Rocket

The annoying bad guys

 

Galen Rupp- Meowth

Team Rocket's Mascot

 

Alberto Salazar- Giovanni

Team Rocket's Manager

Matt Centrowitz- Scyther

THE THROAT SLIT. Also Scyther is cool as fuck

 

Kara Goucher- Eevee

FREAKING ADORABLE

 

Marion Jones- Mewtwo

Totally unnatural and lab created.

 

Dwight Stones- Koffing

Worthless and pollutes our sport when he opens his mouth on air.

 

Anna (Willard) Pierce- Ninetales

Feisty, Fast, Foxy.

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Sh*t Runners Say

10 Jan

Credit for the inspiration goes to Twitter follower Cara Hawkins who tweeted “Has nobody done a #shitrunnerssay yet?”.  First, check out her blog @ http://www.runningshoegeek.com/ there’s some good stuff on there and I like her pre-race preview of the Marathon Trials.

Ok well if you’ve read “Sh*t My Dad Says” or any of the trending topics which go #shitmy(insert noun here)says then this’ll seem familiar.  Here’s the EatRunSwag take on it!

This post is slightly offensive, you’ve been warned.

 

I’VE GOT A SUCH A RUNNERS HIGH RIGHT NOW!

Not as good as a Swimmers High

 

WHAT WOULD PRE DO???

Probably This.

 

MOST SPORTS REQUIRE ONE BALL, OURS TAKES TWO.

This guy definitely has a big pair.

HAVE YOU READ BORN TO RUN? I’M DEF GETTIN SOME VIBRAMS!

A Cowboys Fan wearing Vibrams...it figures..

 

ONLY 90 MILES THIS WEEK!

Or in Cam's case, "Only 130 miles this week!"

KARA GOUCHER IS SO HOTT

This one I agree with.

 

WILL _(ELITE HIGH SCHOOL RUNNER)__ BREAK FOUR IN THE MILE THIS YEAR?

Well, I guess the answer to that question last year was yes.

 

WHY DONT GIRLS LIKE US??

This. This is why.

 

 

More installments of this to come in the future. Please feel free to send me messages on facebook if you have suggestions!

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Soccer Girls vs. Running Girls

18 Jul

Finally recovered enough from my bday to write a new blog post for yall <3

I realize some people will be like “oh this is sexist, he’s objectifying women, only talking about their superficial qualities ect ect blah blah blah”

I don’t care, suck it.

This blog topic was inspired by the recent FIFA Women’s World Cup match that occurred yesterday.  It was not inspired by the loss, where Japan’s U20 boys team beat the US, but rather it was inspired by the attractiveness of some of the female athletes.

Now there were some attractive girls on the team (via Alex Morgan <3 <3) but it lead me to wonder, which sport produces more attractive females (at the elite level)?  Here is my analysis of this extremely deep question.

 

I’m going to break this into some different categories.  First:

The Ass Factor:

Depends on what you’re looking for, a big old badunkadunk or a normal sized one.  If you’re looking for the kind of butt that rappers talk about, the track girls win this one for sure.

damn girl

 

Cuteness Factor:

I can’t decide y’all, this one’s up to you.

Kara Goucher

FREAKING ADORABLE

Vs.

Alex Morgan

SOO CUTE

 

The “In-Game” Attractiveness

Um. Yikes.

 

WINNER.

 

Boob-factor:

Female athletes don’t have boobs lol.

 

This is a tough one y’all.  I think “personality” may actually come into play here to be the tiebreaker (via “What counts is what’s on the inside”)
I asked some females who’s nicer, soccer players or runners.
The overwhelming majority said runners.

Direct Quote from my pal LJ- Soccer players are full of drama. Runners aren’t.

Consensus: FEMALE SOCCER PLAYERS ARE CRAZY

 

Now I may be biased…but the runners win this one!

VICTORY

Despite their loss, I still love you Hope Solo. Be my valentine <3

 

USA USA USA

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