BEFORE READING TODAY’S BLOG: I NEED ALL OF YOU TO CLICK ON THIS LINK BELOW AND READ MY PLAYLIST:
Today I met a famous person y’all!
His name is Jesse Eisenberg, and he’s most famous for inventing Facebook
He was in Austin because he’s in some new movie called “30 Minutes or Less”. It has Nick Swardson, Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari as co-stars. I haven’t seen it but I’ll review it for you now: It was freaking hilarious, go see it. I really liked that one part where Jesse was all awkward, then that one part where Danny said the f word a lot, then that one part where Nick’s sexual orientation was questionable. So zany!
He was at the legendary “Homeslice Pizza” on South Congress Ave. serving up slices of pizza. I guess Facebook must be doing poorly or something if he had to take this shitty job as a pizza server. I guess Google+ blew up way faster than he expected (ADD ME BTW BB’s, I GOT MY ACCOUNT TODAY !!!)
I waited in line for like
30min 4 days until finally I got to the front. It was cool and all that he served me the pizza but honestly I was more excited for a free slice of pizza and a coke. I mean you can see a famous person anytime, but how often do you get free slices of pizza y’all?
Anyway, before he gave me the slice of pizza, he gave me a complimentary handshake to cleanse my palate. And let me tell you, that handshake was WEAK dude! Lacked confidence, lacked care, lacked poise, lacked gentlemanliness. Here’s an example of him shaking my AFRICAN AMERICAN friend Chris’s hand (I have black friends y’all!)
Notice Chris’s hand, firmly closed and thumb locked in. Notice Jesse’s limp wrist and unaffectionate thumb. Party foul bro.
I’m not super mad about it though. In fact, I’m kinda happy. I’m happy that Jesse’s on-screen awkward ass jew version of Michael-Cera character is actually how he is in real life. That gives me hope. Maybe Johnny Depp really is a zany pirate bro always getting into trouble in real life. Maybe Daniel Radcliffe will save all of us muggles someday. Maybe Tom Hanks really is “special”.
Keep on being awkward bro, can’t wait to see your new movie. Hopefully you make a sequel to that Facebook movie, maybe one about LiveJasmin or YouJ***
Oh, and btw, HOMESLICE PIZZA IS CRAZY DELICIOUS
PS- READ MY GIRL AUDREY SMITH’s BLOG @ http://www.adobeslabs.com !!! Please. She’s coming to visit me in Texas in exactly a week and we shall do some crazy bro-noodling blogs together <3 <3 <3