So this year I somehow got suckered into watching “Laguna Beach”. Which is a gateway drug for “The Hills”. I won’t waste your time talking about how annoying it was when LC kept going back to Jason, how freaking hott Audrina is but for some reason dated a douche named “Justin-Bobby”, and how Spencer looked exactly like a monkey.
Instead I’m here to discuss LC’s occasional love interest on the show, Brody Jenner.
First of all, what a caucasian name. It’s up there with Chaz/Chet/Chad/Chase/Maxwell/and Hunter. All I can think of when I hear names like “Brody” is Lacoste polos, water polo, and country clubs.
When I saw him appear on the show I was like “Oh snap son, that’s Bruce Jenner’s son!”
Quick lesson if y’all dont know Bruce Jenner:
Bruce Jenner was an Olympic champ in the decathlon in 1976 Olympics. He’s hella rich from being a badass.
Also, he has a smoking hot step-daughter:
This lead me to think, is Bruce disappointed that his son is pretty much a useless sack of bro-junk?
Bruce was a star athlete in college.
Brody didn’t even go to college.
Bruce trained 8-10 hours a day for the decathlon
Brody: We can assume pretty much lays around and does nothing for longer than that every day
POINT: BRUCE (2-0)
Bruce is an extremely successful businessman and public speaker despite being dyslexic.
Brody’s official occupation is a socialite. Only in America can one get paid for this..
POINT: BRUCE (3-0)
Bruce has had more plastic surgeries than the amount of points he scored in the decathlon.
Brody has hooked up with Kristin Cavallari, LC, and a Playmate of the Year
hmmm POINT: BRODY (3-1)
Bruce had/still has a successful and meaningful career.
Brody: When Brody gets a little bit older, his “Socialite” career will no longer exist.
Final Score: 4-1
Admittedly it’s probably hard to measure up to your dad when he was/is such a badass.
Maybe Brody will start training for 2012
Maybe Audrina will marry me one day